As soon as you turn the lights off start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”.
And then the shadows growl at you and say, “Mine. You’re all mine.”
Proceed to have a secret relationship with the monster in your closet to make the shadows jealous.
Plot Twist: The Monster wants a threesome with you and the shadows.
I don’t know what just happened, but I am so here for that.